He asked me if I believed in God. I said,
“Sometimes…” He said,
“Don’t tell me you’re the type that only believes in God when you need help.”
“No, no, that’s when I stop believing. I start believing when things are good.”
“Like when?”
Like when things are going amazingly well.
When there are too many coincidences it it to just be a coincidence.
When I feel an inexplicable link to someone.
When the timing is too perfect.
Korea has brainwashed me.
I got a “back hug” today, and I was about to freak out thinking it was a big deal.
It wasn’t.
…but I wasn’t wearing… um… yeah.
When I was young, I had something like this as a curtain on the door to the balcony. My mom threw it away when it fell. She thought it was silly.
He hurt me.
I can tell he has a lot of sadness and anger in his heart, but I can also tell there’s kindness. The only way to see that kindness is through his actions.
He’s the kind of person that tries to repel people before he gets hurt.
I use to try to be really nice to him, but made it very difficult. Now, through a personal change of state of mind, I don’t try anymore.
Now, maybe he got use to me, or maybe he doesn’t have to try to hard to repel me, but he’s not so bad anymore.
One thing still hasn’t changed though. He’s very quick to point out people’s flaws and behavior.
*points* (It was a zit.)
“Your nose is runny.” (I was sick.)
“Why do you eat like that?” (I do things a little weird when I’m anxious.)
“You stand like a cartoon.” (I know, I have terrible posture.)
I could stand all those comments, and more, but one day he hit too low.
“You have a big nose, big head, and a little body.”
What a bitch. I don’t even remember why he said that. Maybe it was like other times, where he just stares at me and looks for things to pick at.
After that, i was upset. He hurt me. I thought about doing the “silent treatment,” but that’s ridiculous. I didn’t want to hurt him because he hurt me, and who’s to say he’d be hurt anyway? Maybe he wouldn’t even notice.
No, I just wanted to quietly heal my own woulds until I had to face him again.
I use to wonder if he was so nit-picky towards me because he liked me, but I doubt it. Sometimes I think if he said kind things I’d fall for him. He sucks at saying kind things.
Can’t run from it today.
